i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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