i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
