yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
