you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
