a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
