Don't make out with my wife yet
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
