His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
