im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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