your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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