yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
