How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
