doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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