Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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