At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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