whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
