did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
