you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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