I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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