Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
