her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I can't put those talents on a resume
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
