There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
