My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
not ubering you a puppy
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