Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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