Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
