Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
