He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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