This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
