youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
