That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
