So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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