i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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