May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
