god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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