I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
