So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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