So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
