You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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