i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
