I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
