sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
