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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize