I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
