I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
