but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
