My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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