She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
