This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
