Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
