I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
