Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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