he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize