What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize