She announced her abortion via fbk
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
