hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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