just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
