I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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