I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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