also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I will die if light touches me.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
