so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
