My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
