I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It was like getting head from an anaconda
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize