How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
