I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
