There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
