hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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