We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
