i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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