You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
