Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
